Sam. That’s his name. I remember when I looked forward to seeing
him come to life. This was way before he was conceived. He is courageous and
stronger than he knows. But like every good story, we are at the point where he
hasn’t seen that yet. I get excited thinking about the day his fingers realize
their ability when they grasp the sword that is truly theirs to fight with.
Like that scene from The Lord of the Rings, where the king picks up his sword
after being set free from the darkness that was holding him hostage, Gandalf
The White instructs him to pick it up and swoosh, just like riding a bike. Oh
Sam, so much to unveil but I’m not the only one fighting for his heart. There
is one that once was my creation that is aiming at his heart every day. He
delights in watching my creation fail.
This morning was rough for Sam. After his busy day yesterday,
with the little turn out he had at work, he went to bed feeling defeated. I was
trying to get him to talk to me but the feelings were too familiar and he wasn’t
about to exchange them for something else. He tried, but couldn’t bring himself
to what was to happen. He held back and sat in his empty thought room, which isn’t
really that empty. That’s where he found him. I couldn’t do anything to stop
him from being swayed. He already gave him permission to lead him that way. I
wish he had gone to sleep under a different heart. He woke up at 3:30 am, wide
awake he lay on the bed, turned to see his wife sound asleep, rolled over a
couple of times before he decided to get up. What he couldn’t see and what I
was watching was him influencing Sam all night through settle leading, now Sam
was heading right into the old days where he hid from the world. He puts on a
movie and nothing seems to be changing. Hours pass and before he could ask
where I was, his heart was feeling that failure look, I’ve seen that before. My
first two fell the same way and went to hide from me. I wanted to tell Sam I
love him, I wanted him to come to me so I can hold him, fight that fallen
feeling and come embrace something new with me, it’s okay Sam there is much
that I want to show you and we are only beginning even though it might feel we
have been doing this for a while.
Sam went back to sleep and the rest of the morning he didn’t
seem to see me. He was wrapped up in the impossible. He’s back at the cafe on
his lunch break, we normally meet here, and I know he is searching for me. I
want to tell him I have redeemed you from this, and I am with you. I cannot
work there when I have to work here first son - no program, no amount of
experience can bring about what your heart and my heart desire to see. Aha, was
that a smile Sam, do you see me? You do, there you are - I know, I love you too
Sam, I forgive you - I am with you all the time Sam, look inside and you will
see what is already happening, the old is making way for the new and before you
know it you will see a new light - that brave heart is in there. Oh Sam, I know
you have to go back to work, I wish we could just spend some time talking so I
can tell you how to see me more, after all I can only author as much as you are
able to hear and do.
He looks lifted. It’s never easy to see your creation living
beneath the level you know you made them to live in. I am not giving up on Sam,
not today and in my time frame today is quite long :)
- The Author -
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