A battle field

He doesn’t feel like there’s much time today. He finally made it to the cafe where we meet. He doesn’t seem to excited today. I know what he’s been up to. We had a great day yesterday but the set up blinded him this morning and being tired did not help with trying to see me, but Sam knows, excuses don’t do him any justice, he knows I was there and he looked away. He’s at work and not able to focus, his mind racing again, pain and fear weigh down on him, he’s not sure if he can stand up and walk straight, he looks to me and I tell him its lifted rise up, but I don’t think he can hear me because I don’t see him move.

He pulls out his daily devotional from Spurgeon and reads what is set there, Forsake me not, O Lord - Psalm 38:21. Sam: there is fear in me, i know you’re out there and I believe you but why do I keep holding back, there’s a part of me that wishes i have not strayed so far from you at a young age and a part that knows only then will I have seen you in your victory and see the victory in my life. There’s a part of me that believes a time is coming where we will talk about everything and live out of something new than this emptiness I keep trying to fetch water from. Oh what do I know, i do a better job of not listening than I do listening, is that even me speaking?

He is getting too carried away in his thoughts. I want to tell him about my love for him, show him my embrace, give him my assurance. It’s like we are sitting across each other from the table and he can’t see or listen to me. I don’t expect anything from you Sam, no accomplishment on this earth would make me love you more or have me be more gracious to you, I seek your heart son, and it’s that heart that looks to me that I delight in...wait, do you hear me? Sam: a little I guess - yes it’s me, I forgive you son, and i will not forsake you, I am here to lead you out of here and to the place where you shall enter a stage of new development...be happy today son, just take today and live in it, enjoy your blessings, hold your wife and tell her she is beautiful, pick your son up and call him courageous:) and I will hold you up and call you warrior.

He seems to be holding up okay. I want to see if we can spend sometime in the morning together too and not just meet at this lunch hour, I have loads to tell him at the beginning of his day. There’s the warmth of my presence rising in his life. Oh I know you are anxiously waiting for the part where he fights the bad guy and wins, me too. It’s coming, I would know, I’m the author;)

- The Author -